So my friend just asked me to, "cheer [her] up. And not with nonsense words." This is my result:
Once upon a time there was a small yellow creature named P. P was ridiculed by all the other colourful creatures for his unfortunate name/colour combination.
P tried one day to change his colour. He found some mud and rolled around in it. But it started raining so P got washed off. He kinda smelt bad too.
He then tried to cover himself in green leaves. But they turned all brown, and started oozing on him. Then a strong wind blew them away. So he was sticky, smelly, and he was still yellow.
The last thing he tried was cutting himself to turn red, but that hurt too much and he thought about how stupid emo-kids looked, so he just used the razor to shave. He shaved back his yellow fur and realized he was all pink underneath!
So he went around shaving all the other creatures, until they were all shivering, pink, and naked.
The trembling pink mob took P and locked him in an insane asylum and after years of counseling, he realized that people didn't make fun of him because of his name/colour combination, that was just an excuse. They made fun of him because he was a manic who tried to change who he was and didn't accept his natural conditions.
But then he finally got the gas chamber for killing another inmate a week earlier, and the whole world was happier.
Yeah. Go figure.
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